Barack Obama has been elected as President of the United States of America! We have seen history!
At first, I was a bit bummed. My head hurt, my brain was sore, I could not sleep.
I took a Xanax, I held my wife's hand, I closed my eyes and I slept.
An then, I woke up this morning, and applied my powerful, Capitalist, Christian intellect to the situation. And guess what? I got excited!
Now, before you hang me in effigy (as they did to Mrs. Palin, which was considered good taste in L.A, or as they did to Mr. Obama, which was considered a hate crime...hmmm) let me explain what I am so happy about. (and no, it has NOTHING to do with the whole Carter/Reagan thing)
Now, here we go.
The Dem party controls the nation. Not a big deal. Most of us would worry. We would be concerned about one-party rule, we would be smart enough to understand that this shouldn't happen, ever, and yet, here it has. But, most of us are not that smart, or, if we are worried, I wonder where the hell they were yesterday.
I digress.
FINALLY we get to see what the Dems are all about. Now, reasonably, they may be a bit tame. They are as aware as we are that they are on the spot. It's not like we will find ourselves in the first 100 days facing Socialized Healthcare, Socialized tax increases, Surrender in Iraq, Alliances with Iran and Palestine, Open Persecution of Christians, a Ruined Coal Industry, $6/gallon gasoline, and incresed prices on goods and services.
BUT, and yes, I know, that is a big but, we WILL see them start to hint at these things, poke at them, test the waters. If you pay attention, you will see the country headed toward these things. Certainly, some of them some of you voted for. Socialized Healtchare, Spread the Wealth, Surrender in Iraq. Maybe those same of you didn't understand the Alliances with Iran and Palestine, maybe you hate Israel or Jews, maybe you scream for tolerance, as long as you don't have to tolerate those pesky Christians and their Christmas and Easter Holidays. Maybe you didn't vote for a bankrupt Coal Industry, maybe you did and you thought that we could all just put windmills on our houses and go that route. Maybe you think that instead of all these antennas, we should use solar panels.
You only use the power you PERSONALLY can generate. Maybe you didn't know that Obama want's gas prices to hit $6/gallon, or maybe you drive a Prius and your Smug inhalation makes it seem like a good idea. I don't know, I don't care.
Well, you have finally gotten what you wanted, and I am excited to see where it takes you. Yeah, it's a bit crazy to say or think about, but let's face it. The glory of America is that we really and truly get to choose our leadership, and in this case, we have chosen, and we will get to face the consequences. Some of us will watch what the President does in his first 100 days and laugh our butts off. (Yeah, I said butts) We will laugh as we cannot smoke in public anymore, we will laugh as we see taxes increase for those making 120K, 150K or 250K a year and up, (We still don't actually know which number is correct) we will laugh as we cannot drive our cars, as we get our socialized tire gauges in the mail, as the CEO's of May and Mac continue their expensive trips on our money, as the government takes over each aspect of our lives, we will laugh.
Do you know why we will laugh? Because we will remember how it used to be when our country was free. We will laugh because we will know what could have been. We will laugh because we will understand that our brothers and sisters in this country made the bad decision, the wrong decision. If, God forbid, another coward of a terrorist attacks our soil, we will cry. But as we cry, we will laugh. Not out of spite, or with the glee of "I told you so". No, we will laugh because we will listen intently to Jeremiah Wright. Will he "God Damn America" again? Will "America's Chickens be coming home to roost?" Will he do all this while poling another man's wife? We will listen, and do you know what we will hear?
Silence.
Do you think the media will show outrage? Do you think the news will report on the blatant hypocrisy? Do you think you will even notice it yourselves?
I am not saying that we will be attacked again. I am not even hoping we will be attacked again. I am only pointing out, that if we are, we should expect the same reaction to the new attack as that of the old attack. Jerry Wright had damn well better spew the same shit he did about 9/11, because this time, he will be right.
So, why am I excited? I am excited because I get to sit back, work hard as I have for the past 8 years. Defy the odds, succeed, buy a restaurant, open new businesses, provide jobs, and yes, pay taxes, pay higher taxes, give my money to people who do not work, do not pay taxes, and did not earn it. I already have done that in the past, and I will do it again this time around. I will succeed, I will be the Christian, Conservative, Capitalist that I am. And every day I will pray for the President of the United States. Every day I will work, not just to give to the poor idiots who line up at the trough. I will work, because the Democrats understand that with money comes power. With money comes political power. I will amass as much money as I can, so that I can play on their level, and wield power that matters. I am excited because I learned today that the majority of the country cannot think for themselves, cannot see past one or two issues, cannot see the big picture. Do you know what this ultimately means?
In the same way that all those actors, musicians and athletes formed your opinions on Barack Obama, in the same way that SNL changed your viewpoint on the candidates, in the same way that f&@#ing Comedy Central gives you your news, I can control you. The Dems think they are smarter than most people around them. You know what? I think they are right.
The problem for them is that I KNOW I am smarter than most people. And now it is my job to use my intellect for my own gain. The Government is going to take care of the poor and needy. I don't have to sweat that anymore. I don't have to leave ridiculous tips for a server having a bad day. The government can take over. I don't have to give to the homeless, the government will handle that. I don't have to buy food for bums, the Mr. Obama will do it. This makes me happy as hell. I will save from 10% to 20% of my income by not having to give charitably. This means my wealth will grow more, grow faster, even with Obama and his tax crap. And with my brain, my increased wealth, and enough Xanax, you guys are in for one hell of a 4 year stretch!
GO OBAMA! GO CHANGE! GO SOCIALISM! SAY YES TO MARXISM! BAN GOD! DESTROY JESUS! MORE ABORTION! TAKE MY MONEY, PLEASE!
Wow...I didn't know that anyone could so clearly write exactly how I feel right now but I appreciate your power of the pen. I do believe we are in for a shocking state of affairs as a country and you are probably so right when you say that most people around aren't even going to see it. They will be as blind to what is happen to them, to us, to our country as they were to the fact that the propaganda bed was laid thick and comfy for them to lie in as they cast their vote.
ReplyDeleteYet at this point nothing can be done except to do as God's word calls us to do and as you stated in your piece....pray for the President of the United States. Pray hard people...pray very hard....the road ahead will be rocky at best.